Paperwork

Sometimes Jerry texts me and says, “I’ve been writing!” That’s his way of saying, “let’s get to work”. Jerry thinks I loose motivation at times. Maybe I do. I stopped by his apartment the other day to pick up his notes and chat a little. He was bouncing off the walls because he was just awarded his “section 8 housing”. This means he’ll have most of his rent paid for by the government. “Life’s going to get a little easier,” he beamed. It should also be noted that Jerry is dealing with a recent diagnosis: type 2 diabetes. He’s not complaining though.

He wrote more about the shock of entering prison for the first time way back in his late teens or early 20s.  Jerry was describing how different it was back then. He wasn’t sure, but he thinks the politics in prison changed in the mid to late 90s.  Jerry had fears like any normal young inmate. In the 80s and early 90s Jerry’s fear was mainly centered on being confused for someone else. Jerry says he had one of those faces. Guys swearing they knew him from somewhere frequently approached him. He dreaded those times. He absolutely did not want to be confused with an inmate that had an “unacceptable” crime in their record. I asked Jerry to explain. “Is there honor among thieves?” I asked. He didn’t hear or he ignored me. Very seriously, Jerry started to enlighten me as to which crimes could get you killed in prison. Of course any crime involving a child (sexual or otherwise) was punishable by violent assault. As previously mentioned when stabbing, lungs, hearts and main arteries were not avoided to spare lives. If someone “fell out” (as Jerry puts it), it was to be (as they say). Rape was on the same level—not tolerated. All the Domestic violent charges had to be assessed as to the circumstances. But for the most part, they received an inmate assault and they were made to leave. I asked Jerry how and by what authority could an inmate be made to leave—and where would they go? Jerry explained that an “unacceptable charge” on an inmate’s record would require him to immediately request to be transferred to a different yard or go into protective custody. It was called “having dirt” on your record. In a different yard, an inmate would take his chances in attempting to conceal his record. It would never work. Most of the time they would have to enter into protective custody. If they refused to request to be transferred, it meant an additional deadly assault. And the assaults would keep coming if they survived.

So prior to the late 90s switch in inmate vetting, guys survived by reputation, or literally provided proof that they had an honorable criminal record. It wasn’t uncommon that a child molester or rapist could exist in the general population if they handled them self properly. This type of inmate could blend in by being accepted as a typical druggie or neighborhood gangster. Basically if one did not give a reason to be investigated by his fellow inmates, he could survive. This changed though. He couldn’t remember the exact year but Jerry knew it was before 2000. With the onset of the Internet and the prison population reaching epic numbers, every inmate was now being required to provide proof of their acceptable record—their “paperwork”. The Internet made it easy for friends on the outside to get information. Court documents were easily accessible to the public. Not to mention the availability of Internet background checks. This proof was to be presented to the race representative—every race had a representative that tracked these matters. Another reason that paperwork was required for every inmate was the number of mistaken identity assaults.  As previously mentioned, this was Jerry’s ultimate fear—being confused for a rapist or child molester.  Jerry graciously welcomed the thorough inmate vetting. “It was starting to get to a point where inmates were guilty until they could prove their innocence.” “There were plenty of assaults and that resulted in deaths that shouldn’t have happened.” “Guys were dying and it could have been anyone”.  Jerry told me of a time he was waiting in line for his lunch at Folsom. The line was long and he could see the line splitting down the middle. Everyone was moving slowly, making their way to the sneeze guarded chow. As he got closer, he realized everyone was stepping over and around a dead inmate swimming in a pool of blood. His throat had been cut from ear to ear. He was dead. The C.O.s ran in just as Jerry got close. He learned later it was a case of mistaken identity. He was believed by some to be a sex offender and that was good enough. “There were a lot of us that knew that dude had no dirt on his record”. “We were looking at each other like FUCK who’s next?” “I did not want to go out like that”.  In the county system, a lot of inmates were still going to court or awaiting a sentence. If in inmate asked another inmate for paper work, he could legitimately claim that it didn’t exist yet. But prior criminal records did.  For the most part, there was a grace period before you were beaten and stabbed. Jerry speculated that by 2005, every inmate knew that he must produce his paperwork by the time he reached his final destination to serve his sentence. In Jerry’s case, after he left the county jail, he would arrive at Chino’s reception center then enter in west yard. He could stay there for up to 6 weeks. Then he would go to someplace like Mule Creek prison or Folsom. It was there he would serve the rest of his sentence. It would be absolutely unacceptable for an inmate to reach his final sentence prison with out paper work. There was no excuse.  Jerry was remembering some times where his prison associates were interviewing a recent arrival. He remembered this inmate believed he was a respectable prison convict. After being pressed, this inmate produced as much paperwork on his criminal career that he could dig up. The inmate approval team (I call them) scoured the documents and discovered a “masturbation in public” conviction that occurred over 15 years prior.  The vetting team approached the guy and gave him a fair offer. They told him to immediately approach a Correctional Officer (C.O.) and beg to be transferred because his life was in danger. He was to ask or, risk a deadly assault and then still be asked to leave. Jerry remembers 2 guys in this situation. One guy decided to stand his ground because he felt it would help his reputation as someone who wouldn’t back down. This didn’t work out for him so well. He went into protective custody (P.C.) after his stay in the infirmary. The other guy went straight to a C.O. and told him an “exposing case” was discovered on his record and he had to go P.C as soon as possible.  An “exposing” case meant he was previously arrested and charged with exposing his penis in public—an unacceptable charge in prison.  I asked Jerry how C.D.C.R was able to act out of the inmate’s safety so fast. Jerry explained that the inmate that wasn’t necessarily transferred on the spot. He could just be held in his cell until a transfer was feasible. Usually they would wait for a few days in their safe cell. If they came out for anything, it could mean their life.

Prison Sobriety?

I had a brief conversation with Jerry the other day. I recently wrote about the fact that Jerry was able to remain clean and sober while in jail and prison. It didn’t faze me at first but the more I thought about it, the more questions I had. My theory was, Jerry’s ability to stay sober inside was just another one of his innate survival characteristics that would surface from time to time. There will be more later on Jerry’s decent into the hell of heroin. I know of Jerry’s efforts to avoid the withdraw sickness of heroin on the streets. He had his routine down. He was very resourceful at making his heroin last and avoiding the “sickness” of withdraw. However, when Jerry came home (to the institution) he knew that it was better to be clean. It was the process of getting clean that was the problem though. It was the dreaded transition phase. The phase that involved Jerry lying in a bed of sweat for up to 3 weeks as he moved through what probably felt like Malaria or the plague. “And don’t forget the vomiting and diarrhea”, he adds. Jerry has kicked heroin literally hundreds of times and he always did it cold turkey. It was hell and the body-aches that accompanied this withdraw were unbearable at times. But when it was over it was worth it—inside.  Jerry says during a withdraw period, he did not sleep. He says he may have been able to put a catnap together here and there. But for about 3 weeks he laid on his cot praying for sleep. When it came near the end of the period, Jerry says he would be haunted by the “dreams”. Jerry says the dreams he had during a withdraw period were very intense and very real. All the dreams were about getting more heroin and consuming it any way possible. He would dream of being right there in his cell and shooting up. He would dream of different was he could get it and who he could get it from.  Jerry describes the dreams as desperate and stressful. “It didn’t make for restful rehabilitative sleep” he adds. The only medicine they ever gave Jerry was Clonidine. Clonidine is blood pressure medication. When withdrawing from heroin, your heart beats fast and furious. Clonidine was CDC’s way of keeping Jerry alive. They didn’t want him having a heart attack during this process. Jerry was quick to point out that Clonidine offered no relief from the above symptoms.

When asked what made him take the “clean” route while incarcerated, Jerry had a few motives. It’s not like it wasn’t available—it was. “It was super expensive and quality was very poor,” he said. Jerry said a lot of inmates regularly used heroin. There was a large market to be filled for sure. Jerry’s maxim was “trust no one” and “rely on thy self”.  He explained that there were many violent acts carried out on individuals that did not pay for their drugs while incarcerated. The narcotic life inside was very expensive, messy and stressful: it could easily get you killed. Jerry said he’s seen it all. “Its super pathetic to see a strung out inmate receive a home made weapon stabbing (or worse) for not paying what he owes”.  Jerry somehow knew that he wouldn’t last long if he tried to maintain his habit while incarcerated. While doing a stint at Folsom prison in northern California, Jerry witnessed 5 different “tier tossings” as a result of unpaid debt. A “tier tossing” was when someone was thrown to his death from the 5^th tier in a housing unit. “Why the hell did they not block the tier so that could not happen?” I asked Jerry. He said he was there in 1989 and it was not blocked. He had heard it wasn’t long after that that CDCR did “cage in” the top tier so the murders (as well as suicides) would stop. They didn’t stop of course; you just couldn’t throw yourself or anyone else off the top tiers any more. Usually a smaller, unpaid debt got you stabbed, according to Jerry. The problem was that the ones doing the stabbing were not to concerned about how to miss major arteries, lungs or even the heart. So, a simple shank in the shower often turned into an execution. If someone got stabbed in the right artery, he would bleed out if it went unnoticed. Jerry told me of an area on the yard at Folsom called “blood alley”. This area was a rather large blind spot to the guards and at the time, there were no cameras pointed there either. So needles to say, a lot of deadly business was carried out there. Folsom was an old prison. The construction was mainly designed to keep people in. They did not have the inmate’s safety in mind.  So every time, yes every time. Jerry cleaned up. After the withdraw sickness/hell, he exercised, worked, read and learned skills.  Comparatively speaking, Jerry was in much better shape mentally and physically when incarcerated. He had flipped the script on his life. Life inside was home. Sure he would go on vacation every once in a while to see what it was like on the outside. He would have his fun but it would eventually come time to return home. Jerry describes prison as the lessor of two evils. The streets could be much harder especially if you’re sick or injured. “Prison was no prize destination” he adds. “It was a break and a place where I could get my head and body cleared”. “There was a trade off of course. There was more violence, fighting, fear and the usual politics”.  Jerry describes prison as “not necessarily better, just different”. This was Jerry’s life.  If he wasn’t anxious to get out, he was anxious to get in. One of the main factors that made prison a desirable break was Jerry’s ability to clean up. He couldn’t do this with any success on the outside. He has done many many rehabilitation programs but could never put any significant clean time together. Jerry told me of one time when he was in the Orange County system going to court for a charge he does not remember. He was into his second week of a pretty serious heroin withdraw. He was in the jail cage in the courtroom when the judge told him he was going to be released with an order to report to the Probation Department with in 24 hours. Jerry told me his eyes bugged out because he knew he would never make it there. He was 2 weeks into a withdraw and he did not want it to go to waste. In a desperation attempt, Jerry said he motioned for his public defender to approach the cage. He then proceeded to beg him to ask the Judge to keep him in for another 2 weeks. He did and the Judge understood and went along with it. Jerry was brought back to court 2 weeks later feeling a lot better and ready to give the outside a clean chance. He thinks he entered a drug rehabilitation program but he’s not sure. It didn’t matter anyway. Jerry didn’t stay clean out side for very long. It was in 2008 that Jerry started his success story with getting clean from heroin for good. More on that later.

CDC(R)

CDC

In his mid 20s Jerry got his first significant prison sentence—16 months. He didn’t quite remember why. He never did anything more than steal cars, tools, and furniture. Basically anything that he could flip and make a buck. Jerry had his share of narcotics cases as well. He had a lot of misdemeanor possession of narcotic paraphernalia—pipes and needles. Jerry usually consumed the narcotics within minutes of acquisition. That’s one way to beat the felony possession case.

Jerry was telling me some stories about life on the street and how he would acquire stolen items and sell them for drugs. During this time, Jerry says he drank a lot of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on. He told me of relationships he had with the Santa Ana and Stanton cops and how they were sort of fond of him. They cut him a lot of breaks.

 I told Jerry I was in the mood for some prison stories. Not that life on the streets wasn’t interesting, it was. There was definitely a pattern to it. He got out. He got bored. He went back (to jail).

He obliged me with the prison stories.  Similar to his first trip to the county jail, Jerry had some fear about going to state prison. In California, you could be sentenced up to a year and receive local county jail time. One year usually meant you served about 6 months. And with most felonies, you came out on formal probation and had to report to a probation officer. The minimum state prison sentence in California was 16 months. This meant you could serve 8 months in state prison. Upon release, you had to report to a state parole agent. Other states are different but in California county time equals probation; state time equals parole.  So Jerry tells me he was fearfully waiting for the CDC bus (California Department of Corrections). In 2006 Governor Schwarzenegger added the “R” for “Rehabilitation.  So now it’s CDCR. As he waited for the CDC bus in the county jail, Jerry felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. All the stories he’s heard until now were running through his mind. It turned out the ride to Chino was quiet. Jerry eventually got to the reception center at the California Institution for Men in Chino. Otherwise known as “Chino”. Upon arriving, he was astounded at the 18-foot gates as they opened to let him in. Chino was large and menacing compared to county. All 45 inmates in the bus were put in little tank in what CDC called “receiving”.  After many hours, Jerry and many others were put into a dorm living situation called “Madrone Hall”. Jerry told me he hated dorm living. It was row after row of bunk beds. Back then, all races were housed in the dorms together and it was very dangerous. “We didn’t sleep much”. “Guys were getting stabbed as they laid there on their bunk.” Within a few hours Jerry ran into friend he’s known since elementary school. This friend was able to give Jerry the break down of whom he should avoid and whom he needed to watch out for.  Jerry remembered during those times he had inadvertently began walking with a friendly guy that seemed very welcoming. It had been a few days since arriving. He was walking with this individual out to the yard. He remembered this guy telling him about the program as they walked. With in moments of entering the yard, 2 guys that were apparently waiting for him stabbed this individual repeatedly. Jerry jumped out of the way and watched his first execution. He wasn’t sure if the intention was murder this guy, but he did end up dying he found out later.  Jerry made it through 6 weeks at the west yard at Chino. Jerry blended in as he always did and, as usual, he was forced to defend himself offensively and defensively. He wasn’t afraid to fight; that reputation had followed him. He wasn’t a snitch and he liked to keep to himself.  In many respects Jerry was truly home. There was more freedom in prison—a lot more to do.  One could go to school, trade education or participate in work. More time in a yard and more time socializing and exercising. I’m sure Jerry had some pivotal points in his life where he had to make choices between good and evil.  In describing his first trip to prison, we stumbled upon one such crossing point.

At some point in the process, Jerry was placed with a cellmate that he discovered was a prominent member of a prestigious prison gang.  For a lot of reasons, specific names of individuals or organizations will either be changed or omitted.  Out of boredom, Jerry assisted his roommate by sharpening some hand made weapons. As all roommates do, they chatted.  So not only did Jerry learn of his roommate’s affiliation, he was eventually asked to join.  Jerry was well liked and to his own dismay, stayed sober in prison custody for the most part. He could be trusted and he didn’t owe any body anything. Jerry was offered all the major perks of this prison gang. The money, the prestige, the outside groupies and the protection were all very attractive aspects to consider. The over all power was intoxicating to weigh in his mind as well. But Jerry was solid in his eventual rejection of the offer. This was the proverbial angel and devil on his shoulders as he described it. In his own mind, Jerry says he was very deliberate in his efforts to stay out of hell. Jerry wasn’t particularly religious, but he had lines that he wasn’t ready to cross. When pressed on why he felt it best to avoid the gang, Jerry had no deep insights. He had seen guys that had similar lives to him. They had equally as hard of an upbringing. There was no real reason he was given insight to make this wise decision. Most people in his circles joined up. Jerry knew that this decision was a choice to enter a very violent world. Despite the perks, he knew that he would be asked to commit violent acts that would bend his morals in ways he feared. It was a world that didn’t end once you left the prison. Very diplomatically and respectfully Jerry said “no thanks.” This decision was respected. The only aspect that his cellmate wanted to confirm was Jerry’s secrecy. He wanted to assure that Jerry would not inform CDC of his prison gang status. He also wanted Jerry’s assistance when it came to race wars or any yard riot. If you were confirmed as a prison gang member you were transferred to the Special Housing Unit (the SHU). This was also referred to as Administration Segregation (Ad Seg). Inmates were locked down most of the day. They enjoyed considerably less privileges and no contact with the main population. It was its own hell. To be confirmed as a prison gang member, an inmate had to have a total of 3 “kites”. A kite was an anonymous letter sent to the CDC correctional officers. They were slid under their cells like a tightly wrapped paper football.  The correctional officers (COs) would receive the kite being careful not reveal the identity of the sender. If the identity of the sender were revealed it would mean certain death at the hands of the organization that was being revealed. A prison gang member in the SHU had a difficult time participating in gang business. It wasn’t impossible, just considerably more difficult. And being in the SHU was a miserable existence. Some considered it cruel and unusual. So Jerry agreed to assist with yard politics and his silence. He did this for years. Jerry speculates the reason this path was a viable option was due to his reputation that started in Juvenile Hall and foster care. In prison, if you didn’t know Jerry, you knew someone who knew Jerry. He was easily vetted. There was other’s like Jerry. Savvy dudes that knew the system inside and out. Jerry didn’t know the statistics and neither did I; but the average life expectancy of prison gang member was considerably less those in the general population inside of prison and out. This is more evidence that Jerry wanted to live. There was (and is) an innate will to make life last as long as possible.

When pressed about the allure of gangs either inside or out, Jerry had his formula. He was a respectful loner. He never did anything for the benefit of the gangs when on the streets and he did what he had to on the inside. To continue to be the respectful loner, Jerry had to participate in the occasional riot—race or otherwise. Jerry tells me that there was a lot of prisoners that made similar promises that suddenly became ill on the morning of a planned riot. These were guys that were out in the yard every day rain or shine no matter what. After a being absent for a riot, life became harder inside. If you fought once every couple of months, you know fought every other day--sometimes everyday. “Those guys were considered punks,” Jerry says with a plain face. “I didn’t want to fight ever day or every other day,” Jerry said.

More about the Soup Tank

So I know there was more about the Soup Tank that Jerry didn’t share. So I called him yesterday and asked him to tell me another story about the Soup Tank.  This time, Jerry quickly remembered his first stay at the Tank. He was only around 19. It was his second time in adult jail. The first was only for about 10 days or so. So long haired Jerry gets put in the tank after doing a day in the loop. The loop was a series of cells that a new arrival had go through for booking, medical evaluations etc. Time in the loop lasted for approximately 24 hours.  So immediately after being placed in the Tank, two guys started to harass Jerry.  They were on the other side of the cell having a conversation about assaulting and raping Jerry. Both of the guys came over and indicated that due to Jerry “new” status, he was going to have to get “fucked”. Jerry didn’t know if they were serious or not. He was in fear and wasn’t sure how to handle this. He wasn’t sure if they were going to rape him or if they were taking about just giving him a beating. Jerry had served time before in Juvenile Hall but this was where the big boys were. The politics were different he assumed. These two guys kept it up for a few minutes. They were making kissing noises and telling Jerry to pull his pants down. After a while, Jerry got up from his bunk and went to get a drink from the sink. The two cornered him and said something like “its time.” With all of his might, Jerry hit the smaller of the two in the face and knocked him off balance. The remaining inmate immediately started to punch and kick Jerry all over. Jerry fought back until the other guy regained his composure and started to help his partner give Jerry a beat down like he’s never received before. Jerry was on the ground shortly there after realizing there was no escape. The blows were like flashes of white light and pain. Jerry assumes he was knocked out because the next thing he remembered was lying on his lower bunk in a pool of his own blood.  Jerry said he laid there for two days not moving. He was in pain. His face was puffy and throbbing. “It hurt to breath” he said.  “The most terrorizing part was that these two guys were in the next bunk.” “I was in paralyzing fear that it was going to happen again.” Jerry had been beaten up before. That wasn’t the problem. He would recover. It was the fact his attackers were 3 feet away at all times. Jerry speculates they may have taken pity on him due to his atrocious facial injures. He described his face as raw hamburger meat. So it was the end of the second day after the attack. Jerry had been lying in his blood dirt the whole time. Just before dinner, Jerry noticed that one of his assailants was having a rather heated discussion with large white inmate that was walking buy. Jerry assumed it was a “trustee” (an inmate with laundry delivery privileges).  The large inmate outside the cage informed Jerry’s attacker that Jerry’s beating was unauthorized and that if Jerry didn’t get out of bed for the next meal, there was going to be a worse payback. Jerry’s attacker obviously felt intimidated by this individual and attempted to explain that they were only joking with Jerry and never intended to attack Jerry. They only hurt Jerry because he threw the first punch. After hearing this Jerry mustered the strength to get out of bed. A Sheriff’s officer noticed Jerry’s purple face and pulled him out to interview him. Since it had been only a few days since his arrival, Jerry told the Sheriff that the arresting cop did it. Not really satisfied, the Sheriff let Jerry be and put him back in the cage. Not to long after, Jerry was pulled out by the same Sheriff. He told Jerry that he went and looked at his booking photo and he didn’t have a scratch on him. Jerry knew he was safe for now but to be a snitch was much worse. That would only cause more problems. The Sheriff figured it out and put Jerry in a cell population with younger newer inmates. Jerry said the Sheriff looked at him right in the eye and said, “you were never supposed to be in there with them.” “You’re much to pretty to be there.”