Paperwork

Sometimes Jerry texts me and says, “I’ve been writing!” That’s his way of saying, “let’s get to work”. Jerry thinks I loose motivation at times. Maybe I do. I stopped by his apartment the other day to pick up his notes and chat a little. He was bouncing off the walls because he was just awarded his “section 8 housing”. This means he’ll have most of his rent paid for by the government. “Life’s going to get a little easier,” he beamed. It should also be noted that Jerry is dealing with a recent diagnosis: type 2 diabetes. He’s not complaining though.

He wrote more about the shock of entering prison for the first time way back in his late teens or early 20s.  Jerry was describing how different it was back then. He wasn’t sure, but he thinks the politics in prison changed in the mid to late 90s.  Jerry had fears like any normal young inmate. In the 80s and early 90s Jerry’s fear was mainly centered on being confused for someone else. Jerry says he had one of those faces. Guys swearing they knew him from somewhere frequently approached him. He dreaded those times. He absolutely did not want to be confused with an inmate that had an “unacceptable” crime in their record. I asked Jerry to explain. “Is there honor among thieves?” I asked. He didn’t hear or he ignored me. Very seriously, Jerry started to enlighten me as to which crimes could get you killed in prison. Of course any crime involving a child (sexual or otherwise) was punishable by violent assault. As previously mentioned when stabbing, lungs, hearts and main arteries were not avoided to spare lives. If someone “fell out” (as Jerry puts it), it was to be (as they say). Rape was on the same level—not tolerated. All the Domestic violent charges had to be assessed as to the circumstances. But for the most part, they received an inmate assault and they were made to leave. I asked Jerry how and by what authority could an inmate be made to leave—and where would they go? Jerry explained that an “unacceptable charge” on an inmate’s record would require him to immediately request to be transferred to a different yard or go into protective custody. It was called “having dirt” on your record. In a different yard, an inmate would take his chances in attempting to conceal his record. It would never work. Most of the time they would have to enter into protective custody. If they refused to request to be transferred, it meant an additional deadly assault. And the assaults would keep coming if they survived.

So prior to the late 90s switch in inmate vetting, guys survived by reputation, or literally provided proof that they had an honorable criminal record. It wasn’t uncommon that a child molester or rapist could exist in the general population if they handled them self properly. This type of inmate could blend in by being accepted as a typical druggie or neighborhood gangster. Basically if one did not give a reason to be investigated by his fellow inmates, he could survive. This changed though. He couldn’t remember the exact year but Jerry knew it was before 2000. With the onset of the Internet and the prison population reaching epic numbers, every inmate was now being required to provide proof of their acceptable record—their “paperwork”. The Internet made it easy for friends on the outside to get information. Court documents were easily accessible to the public. Not to mention the availability of Internet background checks. This proof was to be presented to the race representative—every race had a representative that tracked these matters. Another reason that paperwork was required for every inmate was the number of mistaken identity assaults.  As previously mentioned, this was Jerry’s ultimate fear—being confused for a rapist or child molester.  Jerry graciously welcomed the thorough inmate vetting. “It was starting to get to a point where inmates were guilty until they could prove their innocence.” “There were plenty of assaults and that resulted in deaths that shouldn’t have happened.” “Guys were dying and it could have been anyone”.  Jerry told me of a time he was waiting in line for his lunch at Folsom. The line was long and he could see the line splitting down the middle. Everyone was moving slowly, making their way to the sneeze guarded chow. As he got closer, he realized everyone was stepping over and around a dead inmate swimming in a pool of blood. His throat had been cut from ear to ear. He was dead. The C.O.s ran in just as Jerry got close. He learned later it was a case of mistaken identity. He was believed by some to be a sex offender and that was good enough. “There were a lot of us that knew that dude had no dirt on his record”. “We were looking at each other like FUCK who’s next?” “I did not want to go out like that”.  In the county system, a lot of inmates were still going to court or awaiting a sentence. If in inmate asked another inmate for paper work, he could legitimately claim that it didn’t exist yet. But prior criminal records did.  For the most part, there was a grace period before you were beaten and stabbed. Jerry speculated that by 2005, every inmate knew that he must produce his paperwork by the time he reached his final destination to serve his sentence. In Jerry’s case, after he left the county jail, he would arrive at Chino’s reception center then enter in west yard. He could stay there for up to 6 weeks. Then he would go to someplace like Mule Creek prison or Folsom. It was there he would serve the rest of his sentence. It would be absolutely unacceptable for an inmate to reach his final sentence prison with out paper work. There was no excuse.  Jerry was remembering some times where his prison associates were interviewing a recent arrival. He remembered this inmate believed he was a respectable prison convict. After being pressed, this inmate produced as much paperwork on his criminal career that he could dig up. The inmate approval team (I call them) scoured the documents and discovered a “masturbation in public” conviction that occurred over 15 years prior.  The vetting team approached the guy and gave him a fair offer. They told him to immediately approach a Correctional Officer (C.O.) and beg to be transferred because his life was in danger. He was to ask or, risk a deadly assault and then still be asked to leave. Jerry remembers 2 guys in this situation. One guy decided to stand his ground because he felt it would help his reputation as someone who wouldn’t back down. This didn’t work out for him so well. He went into protective custody (P.C.) after his stay in the infirmary. The other guy went straight to a C.O. and told him an “exposing case” was discovered on his record and he had to go P.C as soon as possible.  An “exposing” case meant he was previously arrested and charged with exposing his penis in public—an unacceptable charge in prison.  I asked Jerry how C.D.C.R was able to act out of the inmate’s safety so fast. Jerry explained that the inmate that wasn’t necessarily transferred on the spot. He could just be held in his cell until a transfer was feasible. Usually they would wait for a few days in their safe cell. If they came out for anything, it could mean their life.

Prison Sobriety?

I had a brief conversation with Jerry the other day. I recently wrote about the fact that Jerry was able to remain clean and sober while in jail and prison. It didn’t faze me at first but the more I thought about it, the more questions I had. My theory was, Jerry’s ability to stay sober inside was just another one of his innate survival characteristics that would surface from time to time. There will be more later on Jerry’s decent into the hell of heroin. I know of Jerry’s efforts to avoid the withdraw sickness of heroin on the streets. He had his routine down. He was very resourceful at making his heroin last and avoiding the “sickness” of withdraw. However, when Jerry came home (to the institution) he knew that it was better to be clean. It was the process of getting clean that was the problem though. It was the dreaded transition phase. The phase that involved Jerry lying in a bed of sweat for up to 3 weeks as he moved through what probably felt like Malaria or the plague. “And don’t forget the vomiting and diarrhea”, he adds. Jerry has kicked heroin literally hundreds of times and he always did it cold turkey. It was hell and the body-aches that accompanied this withdraw were unbearable at times. But when it was over it was worth it—inside.  Jerry says during a withdraw period, he did not sleep. He says he may have been able to put a catnap together here and there. But for about 3 weeks he laid on his cot praying for sleep. When it came near the end of the period, Jerry says he would be haunted by the “dreams”. Jerry says the dreams he had during a withdraw period were very intense and very real. All the dreams were about getting more heroin and consuming it any way possible. He would dream of being right there in his cell and shooting up. He would dream of different was he could get it and who he could get it from.  Jerry describes the dreams as desperate and stressful. “It didn’t make for restful rehabilitative sleep” he adds. The only medicine they ever gave Jerry was Clonidine. Clonidine is blood pressure medication. When withdrawing from heroin, your heart beats fast and furious. Clonidine was CDC’s way of keeping Jerry alive. They didn’t want him having a heart attack during this process. Jerry was quick to point out that Clonidine offered no relief from the above symptoms.

When asked what made him take the “clean” route while incarcerated, Jerry had a few motives. It’s not like it wasn’t available—it was. “It was super expensive and quality was very poor,” he said. Jerry said a lot of inmates regularly used heroin. There was a large market to be filled for sure. Jerry’s maxim was “trust no one” and “rely on thy self”.  He explained that there were many violent acts carried out on individuals that did not pay for their drugs while incarcerated. The narcotic life inside was very expensive, messy and stressful: it could easily get you killed. Jerry said he’s seen it all. “Its super pathetic to see a strung out inmate receive a home made weapon stabbing (or worse) for not paying what he owes”.  Jerry somehow knew that he wouldn’t last long if he tried to maintain his habit while incarcerated. While doing a stint at Folsom prison in northern California, Jerry witnessed 5 different “tier tossings” as a result of unpaid debt. A “tier tossing” was when someone was thrown to his death from the 5^th tier in a housing unit. “Why the hell did they not block the tier so that could not happen?” I asked Jerry. He said he was there in 1989 and it was not blocked. He had heard it wasn’t long after that that CDCR did “cage in” the top tier so the murders (as well as suicides) would stop. They didn’t stop of course; you just couldn’t throw yourself or anyone else off the top tiers any more. Usually a smaller, unpaid debt got you stabbed, according to Jerry. The problem was that the ones doing the stabbing were not to concerned about how to miss major arteries, lungs or even the heart. So, a simple shank in the shower often turned into an execution. If someone got stabbed in the right artery, he would bleed out if it went unnoticed. Jerry told me of an area on the yard at Folsom called “blood alley”. This area was a rather large blind spot to the guards and at the time, there were no cameras pointed there either. So needles to say, a lot of deadly business was carried out there. Folsom was an old prison. The construction was mainly designed to keep people in. They did not have the inmate’s safety in mind.  So every time, yes every time. Jerry cleaned up. After the withdraw sickness/hell, he exercised, worked, read and learned skills.  Comparatively speaking, Jerry was in much better shape mentally and physically when incarcerated. He had flipped the script on his life. Life inside was home. Sure he would go on vacation every once in a while to see what it was like on the outside. He would have his fun but it would eventually come time to return home. Jerry describes prison as the lessor of two evils. The streets could be much harder especially if you’re sick or injured. “Prison was no prize destination” he adds. “It was a break and a place where I could get my head and body cleared”. “There was a trade off of course. There was more violence, fighting, fear and the usual politics”.  Jerry describes prison as “not necessarily better, just different”. This was Jerry’s life.  If he wasn’t anxious to get out, he was anxious to get in. One of the main factors that made prison a desirable break was Jerry’s ability to clean up. He couldn’t do this with any success on the outside. He has done many many rehabilitation programs but could never put any significant clean time together. Jerry told me of one time when he was in the Orange County system going to court for a charge he does not remember. He was into his second week of a pretty serious heroin withdraw. He was in the jail cage in the courtroom when the judge told him he was going to be released with an order to report to the Probation Department with in 24 hours. Jerry told me his eyes bugged out because he knew he would never make it there. He was 2 weeks into a withdraw and he did not want it to go to waste. In a desperation attempt, Jerry said he motioned for his public defender to approach the cage. He then proceeded to beg him to ask the Judge to keep him in for another 2 weeks. He did and the Judge understood and went along with it. Jerry was brought back to court 2 weeks later feeling a lot better and ready to give the outside a clean chance. He thinks he entered a drug rehabilitation program but he’s not sure. It didn’t matter anyway. Jerry didn’t stay clean out side for very long. It was in 2008 that Jerry started his success story with getting clean from heroin for good. More on that later.