I met with Jerry again yesterday. It can be very exhausting drudging up all this stuff. About an hour 1/2 into it, Jerry turns to me and says, "My body is telling me to go to sleep now". I took that as an opportunity to re-admonish Jerry as to the dangers of revisiting the past. I have heard stories of folks going a little nuts after a revisiting of the past--especially when it's as sordid as Jerry's. It can suck the life out of you.
I asked Jerry if there was anything he wanted to add to the adolescent years of his story. He wanted to emphasize the part when his mother left him and his sister alone at night while she went out and worked or partied. There was a point in her their lives when she had a job as a cocktail waitress in the evening. She would leave Jerry in charge (at age 8 or 9). Jerry was very casual at mentioning that he used to take his anger out on his younger sister by giving her regular beatings during this time. And of course he would get beat in return by his mother for that and all the other problems he was causing. Jerry's mother was so distraught at attempting to control him that she resorted to forcing one (then two) shot glasses of Nyquil down his throat before she left for work. She did this with his younger sister as well. Of course her goal was to knock them out so they would stay in bed and out of trouble. She did this for years Jerry told me. Later in life, Jerry's prison psychiatrists postulated that these forced sedation sessions were the impetus for his addiction to controlling substances.
So back to Jerry in the system. From Age 12 to age 18 Jerry's life was relatively predictably unpredictable. He would be housed in a foster home, Juvenile Hall or Probation placement home. He would get bored or sick of the staff or other kids so he would split to the streets. He would last anywhere from a day to a few months, but he would always get picked up by the police with a new charge--Escaping an institution. This charge usually got him another 6 months. Now Jerry was no dumb kid. He was a brilliant survivor. He didn't know it, but he was making the system work for him. There was no Juvenile institution that could hold Jerry. He ran from them all in Orange County: Los Pinos, Joplin, Rancho Potrero, the Youth Guidance Center (YGC) and even Juvenile Hall. Juvenile Hall was a litte harder but not impossible. Jerry said his goal all along was to get to Juvenile Hall. He said he loved it there. Even though he ran, this "love" was in comparison to the harsh environment on the streets of course. They had isolated cells where he could have a one roommate. It was better to have a roommate to pass time with playing cards etc. Also, this was vastly better than the larger rooms where there would be just rows of bunk beds. At Juvenile Hall, staff were a littler more laid back and the kids knew the routine better. When asked about the gangs and fights inside, Jerry very casually mentioned the necessity for the pecking order that existed in Juvenile Hall. "Everyone wanted to be the big dog" he says. "You had to fight to maintain your basic right to exist in there." Jerry described the fights lasting only a few seconds before there would be a dog pile of staff on you breaking it up. It only took Jerry a couple of years to figure out how never to be to far from his home--Juvenile Hall. He would escape right before he was let out or sent back to a placement home. When he was on the streets, he slept where he could: on store roofs, in abandoned cars and garages. He continued to perfect his craft of theft. He was getting quite good at it. His big ticket items were tools. He would frequent the hardware stores and fill his pants with all kinds of tools. He knew he could get some decent cash for them and they were always in demand. When asked about drug use during those days, Jerry was quick to say he started early with Methadren. He says it was better than coke and there was a hallucinogenic aspect. I couldn't find out to much about this drug on the internet. But it did exist. Jerry said he quickly learned to "slam it", or shoot in to his arm with a syringe. Jerry's routine was to steal the tools, sell them to whomever and then bring the money to a lesbian couple he knew in the city of Stanton. Jerry had to buy this couple some drugs as they were without money. But it worked out because they had all the connections for the good drugs.
With little affect, Jerry told me of a time right around when he was 15 or 16. He remembers staggering around a neighborhood completely inebriated on some sort of hard alcohol. He remembered walking up to a random house where he asked an elderly lady to use her restroom. She agreed and Jerry promptly went into her bathroom and proceeded to consume every prescription bottle he could find. He was not aware of any thoughts of suicide just the desire for obliteration. He walked out of the house and remembers collapsing and hitting the pavement hard. The elderly lady had discovered the empty bottles and called an ambulance. Jerry was treated at the scene then transported to a hospital where he had his stomach pumped. Jerry was released to the elderly lady after about a day. When asked how he avoided getting re-arrested at the hospital, Jerry explained how different it was back then. He just never gave his last name and there was nothing hospital staff could do at the time. The elderly lady vouched for him and took him home from the hospital. It was soon after they arrived home that the elderly lady decided to bring Jerry over to her friend's church nearby. Jerry didn't object as he knew he needed and wanted to sleep. Jerry then met a catholic priest who showed him to a bed in a room in the back of the church. Jerry remembers it was a weekend because no one was there. Jerry jumped in the bed and quickly passed out. The next thing Jerry said he remembered was waking up to this same man performing oral sex on his penis. Jerry tells it a little more explicitly. He immediately yelled at the man to "stop" and that he didn't want this to happen. The priest pulled away and respected Jerry's request. Jerry was left alone for a time only to be interrupted by the priest again. This time he was asking Jerry to shower. He told Jerry he was dirty from being on the streets and for his own health he needed to take a shower. Jerry was reassured that were no alterior motives. Jerry agreed and entered in the "very large shower" as he described it. Jerry showered juvenile hall style--quickly. But Jerry was had not got a chance to finish when he turned around and saw the priest was getting in with him. Jerry jumped out and was again disgusted at what happened. He doesn't remember what was said but he does remember that his clothes were gone. For the next 10 minutes or so Jerry was forced to stand there naked begging the priest for his cloths. The priest was silent but was content with letting Jerry stand there wet and naked. The priest finally finally finished his shower and pointed to where he hid Jerry's clothes. It was then next day now so Jerry got dressed and left. Jerry did share with me that he remembered a refrigerator full of beer in that back room. When he asked the priest why it was there, the priest stated that it was left over from wedding receptions. So Jerry left but came back that night. When asked why he came back, Jerry said he didn't have anywhere to go and he felt he could handle the priest. Jerry knew he was being wildly inappropriate by attempting to take advantage of Jerry. But he did back off when Jerry forced the issue. In retrospect, Jerry felt it was more about the lure of the refrigerator of beer. Jerry was growing quite fond of the effects of alcohol by this time. So Jerry came back this time with a girl friend. They both were allowed to spend the night. Jerry was under the influence as usual but was seeking a bed with a roof. The priest obliged. Jerry didn't recall how long he was asleep but he did remember being awaked by the priest's mouth on his penis. Jerry pulled back in horror agin for the second time. He told the priest to stop and that he was into that. He didn't remember if the priest said anything but he did pull back and leave the room. It must have been the morning because Jerry and his friend left. Again Jerry was only 17 at the time.
It's difficult to describe Jerry's affect as he describes these events. It seems to flow in a "matter of fact" manner. I have no expectations of any necessary emotions but its as he is describing the events of someone else's life.
Being the street wise kid that he is, Jerry immediately figured out how to exploit this situation to his advantage. For the next two years Jerry was able visit the priest for regular weekly extortion pay offs. One week he would receive $40. The next he would receive equal or greater value in Alpha Beta food vouchers or similar vouchers. It was never acknowledged as "hush" money but they both knew. At the two year mark or so, Jerry learned that they had moved the priest to a different location. Jerry was able to track him down at a different church location. Jerry speculated that he was under some heat for similar activities. So Jerry was able to get a few more "gifts" from the priest until he was gone all together. On his usual day to pick up his pay off, Jerry learned from another church employee that his priest friend had been transferred again. This time they would not tell Jerry where.
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