Another Foster moment

I met with Jerry again last Tuesday. He had been sick and he just found out he has diabetes. He still has an amazing attitude though. Still grateful for what he has. As I mentioned before, this account of Jerry's life comes out of order because that's how it comes out of his head. This time we're going back to age 14 and another foster home experience. 
I always ask Jerry if there was anything he wanted to add to his youth chronicles. He referred to his notes and quickly started sharing a time when he and another boy named Jerry were brought into a foster home situation in Buena Park California. It was just he and the other Jerry. Both were 14 and with a few years of experience in the system. So now was in a real looking family. A mother, a father and a brother. He and the other Jerry shared a room. The foster father worked as a longshoreman in Long Beach. He left super early and stayed away from the house most of the day.  Our Jerry started to notice that his foster brother Jerry was leaving in the middle of the night to sleep with the foster mother. At first he thought it was because he was just scared and he needed a "mother" figure for consoling.  Jerry soon became curious and confronted his foster brother. Jerry #2 reluctantly admitted to having sex with his foster mother and suggested that our Jerry do the same. This is the first time that I see a look of disgust on Jerry's face as he describes what he thought he had to do. After a few weeks of seeing his foster brother leave to go have sex with his foster mother, it was now his turn. One early morning Jerry was awakened by his foster mother and brought to her room. Jerry tells me he willingly had sex with her and that this was his first sexual experience with a woman. He said this happened about 4 or 5 times. When asked how he felt about it, Jerry was quick to yell out, "I hated it," "I thought it was what I had to do for rent or whatever." In Jerry's 14 year old mind, he thought that sex was a way to earn his "keep".  He believed that he and his foster brother must have sex with the foster mother in exchange for food and shelter etc. He was disgusted by the whole experience as he remembered that the foster mother always said..."don't tell anyone." This home lasted approximately 15 months.
I asked Jerry if he had any positive foster home experiences. I was happy to hear the next experience that Jerry had living in a foster home/dog kennel. This home was a shelter/kennel/pound. He wasn't really sure what exactly the business was. All he remembers was that he and approximately 3 other foster brothers stayed there and were used as slave labor to care for the animals. He tells this story not as a tragic abuse account but as his fondest memory as a kid. "I loved those dogs," "That's all I cared about was those animals, I wanted to be with them 24/7." Jerry was a big dog fan and didn't mind being used as free labor. The way Jerry describes it is like he was free from the anxiety of his life during those times. This reminded me of the evidence/research of dogs working with abuse victims and how they seem to cut through years of pain and the emotional walls that get built as a result. 
Unfortunately this was also a short lived foster experience. Jerry was off again to his next institution.

Jerry tells me of a time when he was 16 or 17. He's not sure how or why he was ordered to complete a job assistance program in San Bernardino. He quit after a week though. The strange thing was that when he called back a few weeks later to attempt to pick up some property, the staff took pity on Jerry and gave him a certificate of completion. Jerry was floored at this man's generosity. At the time this meant an almost guaranteed job. That's exactly what happened. Jerry was able to secure a job at a Tow company called Saddleback Tow. He kept this job for a year or so until the company went bankrupt. He tells me that he was fond of that job. The driver's were cool and they let him sleep in the trucks at night. He did everything there: security, custodial, maintenance and even tow assistance. Jerry was very proud to share a story of how he was instrumental at catching a tow yard thief that was  stealing expensive equipment from their trucks. Due to the fact Jerry slept at the tow yard he was able to identify an individual that was breaking into the facility and robbing them. For the first time in his life he was on the other side of the law and it felt good.